A cigarette was set ablaze into smoke, the end flickering orange sparks before settling down a lazy flame, dull in contrast to the man that was smoking it. Shizuo leaned his back against the chain-linked fence just centimeters behind him, taking a long drag to his cancer-stick before exhaling the sickly grey cloud from his lungs, his shaded brown eyes turning up towards the twinkling sky; he long but put his sunglasses away for the night, seeing no need to conceal himself right now – he just wanted to look at the stars.
An almost equal amount of pressure was added to the other side of the same fence, their own back pressed against his and their foot propped up against the practical wall between the two bodies. The blonde didn't turn, already knowing who it was.
"What are you doing here, [Name]."
It wasn't quite a question, more like a sarcastic statement, maybe even a rhetorical question. The young woman [Name] smiled to herself at the sharp edge to Shizuo's tone and her fingers curled around the cold metal that separated them, squeezing as if she were taking hold of someone's hand. She did not reply to his question at first, allowing a rift of silence to fall.
"I came to see you again, Shizu-chan."
The mentioning of that awful nickname made his fingers twitch around the small, tobacco-filled wrapper he squeezed between his index and middle fingers; to think she still had the nerve to even call him by that name, just like that dammed flea Izaya. However, he let it go; for reasons beyond his own sense of understanding.
Shizuo almost didn't want to hear her answer, now; afraid of what she'd say. He hasn't seen her face since the accident, the day his temper had raged too far and for too long and he got her hurt. Bad. [Name] was one of the eldest Heiwajima's only true friends and when she pushed him too far, he sent her to the hospital. Since then, he's never seen nor heard of the [h/c]-haired woman and though he wouldn't show it, guilt and remorse have been swallowing him whole every day since.
"Because I miss you; why? Don't believe me?"
[Name]'s fingers slipped through the chain-link to the other side, tailing down to his pants pocket where his hand was buried, and grabbed onto his hand, successfully pulling it from the silken depths. Visibly, Shizuo twitched at the sudden skin-to-skin contact she was issuing, but eventually relaxed into her touch. It was almost like she was a soothing agent to his abrasive temper; something that was hard to come by.
He lied. He did believe her, which was why her even being here was some-what of a mystery. He had hurt her in the past; why was she still willing to be friendly with him? Everyone who got within spitting distance of the monstrosity of a man was at a high risk of having their limbs broken in two and for a few unlucky bastards that was the harsh reality of being around Shizuo Heiwajima. It just sucked that [Name] was one of them.
His fingers twitched around hers and squeezed them tighter, not wanting her to let go – to just let them have this moment for a while before she pulled away from him again for good.
"Oh, come on, Shizu-chan; I know you miss me, huh? Why not just admit it? You know I missed you."
[Name]'s voice held mirth, a slight ring of laughter, but Shizuo's face remained stoney and cold – despite the smallest traces of heat the found its way to his cheeks.
"You really are an idiot…"
He mused with a deep sigh and one last drag of his cigarette before he dropped it to the ground and snuffed it with the bottom of his shoe. Gentle fingers returned his squeeze before slipping from his grasp. Shocked by her sudden retreat, the blonde Japanese man whirled around to face her for the first time in a long time; he almost sucked in a sharp intake of breath when he saw the healing purple and blue bruises on her face, though they started to even out into an almost brown color into her skin, they were still ghostly reminders of his major fuck-up.
It was now that he wished that the fence wasn't separating the two of them and that he could just take her into his arms and just damn hug her, because he missed that. He missed how openly she would show affection to him even though he was totally against it; he hated it when she'd grab his hand or hug him in public, but right now he could really care less about what people thought about him – even if they wouldn't be scared of him anymore because they knew he had a soft-spot, he would be okay with that. Even if the stupid flea Orihara found out about her, he wouldn't care. You know why? Because he would protect her; he would guard her from anything that would try and harm a single strand of [h/c] hair on her head.
But, he remained silent as her [e/c] orbs found his through his tinted sunglasses. [Name]'s hand slipped through the chain-links again and grabbed onto the portion of white fabric that covered his left breast and splayed her fingers across his chest, feeling his heart beat.
"You're not a monster, Shizuo. I'm not upset about you hurting me, it wasn't your fault; it was mine. I got you upset and that was a mistake on my part. I was aware of your temperament and it came to bite me in the butt, it happens. So don't beat yourself up about it, okay?"
Shizuo wanted to argue with her, to tell her that she shouldn't think like that; she wasn't the one that gave her those bruises or knocked her out with a slight concussion for almost a weak. She could have died and it would have been all his fault. He would have lost his only friend and the sole person on the entire planet that even cared a little bit about him.
He dropped his head down to his chest and shut his eyes, gripping the fence with his fingers clenched tight. His nerves were nearly aching to touch her, to hold her in his embrace and never let her leave him again. But, he knew he couldn't do that, he'd end up hurting her again and there was nothing he could do to solve that.
"I love you, Shizu-chan and no matter what happens to me, my feelings will never change about you."
But, in Shizuo's own language, that was his affirmative answer of: 'I love you too, idiot.'